Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Soon I Will Rule the World...While You Sleep....

I've written before about some of my more interesting side effects from Ambien. I have yet to drunk dial anyone or come on to anyone other than my husband but I have to admit some of the things I've been doing lately are shocking even to me.

I tend to sleepwalk when I'm very stressed. I will hold it together during the day and then act out while sleeping.

(And before you all freak out on my I've had repeated discussions about this with my doctor. He told me pretty much any sleep med that I take is going to do this to me unless I figure out a better way to deal with the emotions while I'm awake. It's important I get sleep so the side effects I just need to deal with.)

So far I have slept-walked, it's always nice to wake up somewhere other than where you went to sleep.

Slept-argued, you haven't lived until you wake up the next morning and say, "good morning, honey" to only receive a grunt. It's like going on a bender without the hangover. You remember nothing but your spouse or significant other was taking notes....

Slept-ate, it's always nice when you reach for the last cookie and it's not there. Then some flashback of you standing in front of the pantry literally flashes back and you are cramming that fattening cookie you have been resisting all day into your maw. The other day I had a flashback of eating Sugar Smacks at 2am...which is NOT something I eat when awake. I'm awfully thankful I'm not a vegetarian or allergic to any foods.

Slept-watched, now I know I'm a multi-tasker but this one even had me impressed. Last night not only did I crawl out of bed to sleep-eat, I also gave sleep-watching a try. Imagine my surprise when I pulled up my Tivo this morning and found that I had already watched all my shows during the night...while I was asleep. Now who the hell got voted off Biggest Loser...

And my all time favorite...

Slept-shopped, a few nights ago I decided to spend the $12 I still had left on iTunes, while I was asleep. Yes folks, I shopped while I was sleeping. I'm so glad that I only had $12 or I can only imagine what kind of music I might have had waiting for me the next morning. As it was I bought sleep meditation music, which is probably the funniest part of this post. Even in my sleep I knew that I needed to get more restful sleep. Did I buy just one song? No, I bought a whole CD that sounds like whales mating but doesn't make me sleep.

Now all I need to do is learn how to sleep-drive...no, even I have to draw the line somewhere...how about sleep-jogging?

4 comments:

Momo Fali said...

I woke up the other day with a plate on my nightstand which had, clearly, contained nachos. No wonder I can't lose any weight. Foiled by Ambien!

Momo Fali said...

Oh, and you won my book giveaway! Give me a shout. I need your addy.

just_karyn said...

Do we need to put bumpers in the roads out here in case you decide to give sleep driving a whirl?

Too funny! :) I'm sending all of the cookies I shouldn't be eating down to you...you know, in case you're sleep hungry...

Melisa with one S said...

Yikes. I can't even imagine. You should buy padlocks for your doors or something!