Monday, March 7, 2011


My mom had ankle surgery 3 weeks ago. She was told it would be a very simple surgery and unfortunately, it hasn't been.

Last week she called me up crying and just basically beside herself with worry. You see, our lives are in a very unusual state at the moment. My mom had ankle surgery in February, I will have ankle surgery in March and my dad will have a knee replacement in April. As you can imagine the urgency (let's call it what it is...PRESSURE) for her to heal is really got her freaked.

In fact, I can't remember a time when I've ever heard my mom more upset. It scared me. I'm the kid, still raising a kid. I'm allowed to freak out when surgery is beyond my control...and believe me when I say I do...often.

But my mom is pretty much a rock. She usually calms me and gives me good advice and I appreciate it about as much as anyone would appreciate advice when they are FREAKING out.

Case in point, after my back surgery I had a difficult time in the hospital. She came and visited me. When she got there I told her that I changed my mind and didn't want to do this anymore (hello, drugs?). Instead of laughing at me (which is what I probably would have done) she assured me that I could do it and that I should start to eat and help myself. A few weeks later we had a good laugh about it.

I'm the one that freaks out. So imagine my surprise to find myself in a different place...handing out the advice while trying not to piss off the person freaking out is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be and a heck of a lot more scary and worrisome.

I was the mom of my MOM! And the mom of my daughter. And it felt like just a little too much mom at that particular moment. I'm not ready to have parents that I need to parent, hell, I barely feel like a parent most of the time. I'm not sure how to make the right decisions for myself much less the best decisions for my parents.

And yet, my mom got in the car today and she said, "I listened to the boss." I almost fell over when I figured out that she was actually talking about me. Somewhere in that mumbled jumbled up mess, I had given some good advice. Some helpful advice...and I was shocked right down to my core.

I have had a chance to be on the other side a lot in the past few weeks and I have to say it's a lot harder than I thought it would be and I'm not ready.

And then I went to Dr. Angry today with my mom. She is seeing him for some shoulder issues. And yes, he is still Dr. Angry....which makes me very sad. He made some snappy comment today about us and my mom jumped right up and defended us all and very politely put him in his place and all was right in the world. Mom was back in charge. I didn't have to look like a jerk but I also didn't have to be punished for my choices.

So I guess the moral to the story is my life is changing in ways that I didn't quite appreciate until recently. I feel kind of like the filling of the Oreo cookie lately. Between helping my parents and helping my family I'm stuck in the middle. Now I just have to remember sometimes I will be stuck to one side and sometimes the other...but I am capable and I can do this.

Does anyone find it odd that I just referred to myself as lard....


Crazymamaof6 said...

Yay for your mom putting dr. Angry in his place. And Whoohoo that you have eachother for support through this. Nice to know you aren't alone and you can survive this and still be a support. Hang in there! Hugs!

Cathy said...

Mmmmm....lard. As always you have a full plate, but somehow you always seem to manage it all. You are capable!

Melisa with one S said...

haha, lard!

You CAN do this. You're doing it now!